Can you feel the holiday cheer? It's all around this feeling of 'happiness' that pervades our society. A time of year known for joy and giving and all the bullshit that is supposed to separate us from the apes. I don't get it. Do I hate it? Well, I suppose that depends.
Do I have to go anywhere? Do anything? Get anyone presents?
I don't have to list for you the damnable aspects of Christmas time. You've heard it all. Us pessimists are anything but individually unique in our assessments.
The problem for those around me has always been, 'what do you get someone who doesn't want anything?' Nothing tangible anyway. I've always, always, always. From the moment I could think coherently. I have always wanted power, in some form or another.
Now don't get all dramatic with me, I don't mean Wonder Woman or Super Man kind of power, but power just the same. Control. Control over the people around me and conversely, control over myself. This has translated itself into a lot of hard work and ambition on my part. Many would say that's a good thing. I see no reason to disagree.
It is tough this time of year, avoiding attention. Now you may be thinking a Narcissist like myself would love attention but if I haven't previously made it clear to you, I in no way embrace the narcissistic side of my personality. I acknowledge it, I tolerate it. But I do not embrace it.
Why? Quite simply it's a weakness. One I'd rather do without, but I guess that's life. No one is without flaws. But anyway-attention. It's hard not to get pity this time of year. My apathy is easily translated as 'depression' or 'sadness'. Then all the sudden I am surrounded by hordes of frothing pitiers come to spend time with the poor sad fellow. Hooray.
I wouldn't have the need to manipulate people if they've leave me alone. They leave me no choice really- I am but a victim of a heroic society. That's laughable isn't it!
